


Two fools

by midori_berry



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Injury, Office Chairs, Sniper definitely should have stood further back, medic and engineer are used to the shenanigans, scout and pyro have no braincells, sniper gets injured in the chaos too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:28:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29489046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midori_berry/pseuds/midori_berry
Summary: Scout has a very good, definitely not dangerous idea and Pyro agrees to go along with it. All the two of them need is an office chair and Pyro's flamethrower. There's absolutely no way at all that this can end badly.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 38





	Two fools

Medic looked up over his clipboard with a raised eyebrow. Scout gave him a grin, showing where a couple of his teeth had fallen out after his experience kissing the concrete at 50mph. Pyro stood behind him with a crack in one of the eye holes on their mask. The two were propping each other up. The two looked really rough. Sniper was trailing behind the two, dragging a half broken chair. He also looked pretty messed up, as well as shooting death glares at Scout and Pyro.

“Okay so before you say anything doc it’s a real funny story, see!”

-

It had been Scout's idea of course, and in his humble opinion it was probably the best idea he had ever come up with. Pyro had readily agreed of course, it had sounded like an awful lot of fun. All the two of them would need is a swivel chair and Pyro’s flamethrower. It was going to be great of course.

“Hey engie, you got one of those swivel chairs? I have an idea!” Scout grinned, not bothering to knock on the door as he walked into the Engineer’s workshop.

“You having an idea usually ends in property damage, extreme injury or death.” Engineer didn’t even turn from what he was working on.

“Oh come on, it’s gonna be great and Pyro has already agreed to help out! You can’t let pyro down! They’re so excited for this!” Scout begged, pulling Pyro to his side with a grin. 

Engineer sighed and turned to the two. “That right Pyro?”

Pyro nodded enthusiastically. “Yrrrh! Scrrrt syyyys rrts srrrfff.”

“Just because Scout says it’s safe doesn’t mean it is, don’t you remember the time that Scout and Soldier decided to try to play baseball by launching the balls with a rocket launcher and destroyed half of the base?” Engineer sighed.

“Nah that’s not going to happen this time, don’t worry about it hard hat!” Scout nodded along with Pyro. “Besides if you don’t let us borrow one we’ll just keep saying the word please until you let us.” At that Scout took a deep breath, and nudged Pyro to do the same.

“Don’t you start with that.” Engineer held up his hand, “I’ll go and get you one, just promise me you won’t destroy half of the base? Please?”

“Would I do that?” Scout grinned, feigning innocence as Engineer went to go and find a chair. He was able to find one and handed it to Scout with a stare. Scout’s grin got wider. “Thank’s Engie! C’mon Py, let’s go set this up!”

Engineer shook his head again and sighed as the two left in a hurry. He had a feeling that the two would, at the very least, be taking a trip to see the medic after whatever their little scheme was inevitably went wrong.

-

They had decided to set up outside on the porch, more space for them to spin then. The idea was simple really, if Pyro used the air blast on their flamethrower while the two of them were on the swivel chair they could get it to spin around really fast, just like a carousel or something.

Pyro was sat cross legged in the chair, while Scout was perched on the back clinging to the top of the seat.

Just before Pyro could activate the air blast they were interrupted by a snort of laughter.

“What in the bloody hell are you two doing?” Sniper asked in confusion, looking at the two perched on the chair.

“Wrrr gnnnnna ssppnnn!!! Wanna jjnnnn ssss snnprrr?” Pyro asked excitedly.

“I think I’ll pass, don’t fancy spending the day in the medbay getting lectured by Medic. Gonna watch though, I reckon it’ll be right funny” Sniper nodded, backing up somewhat and watching the two with a bemused grin.

“Eh, your loss Snipes” Scout grinned. “Let’s go Pyro!”

-

“So you both have broken bones, missing teeth and concussions… All because you wanted to spin on some old office chair? And sniper is here because?” Medic pushed his glasses up as he glanced between the three mercenaries.

“Yeah! It was awesome! You should have seen how much air we got! Though the chair might have maybe a little bit got launched at Sniper at incredibly high speeds” Scout cheered, then grabbed his broken arm in pain. Pyro nodded along in agreement, even though their head hurt quite a bit.

“I…” Medic sighed, shaking his head. The stupidity of the youngest man never failed to astound him. “Why is it always you Scout? Right, well you two can wait considering it was you two who started this whole thing, I’m going to sort out Sniper first.”

“Wait what? But doc we’re dying over here.” Scout whined, gesturing to the two of them. Pyro tilted their head like a sad puppy, though this didn’t seem to have an effect on Medic, who was still shaking his head at the two.

“Good.” Medic nodded, gesturing for Sniper to follow him. “You two can sit in the waiting room”

Sniper couldn’t help but stick out his tongue and flip the two off as he limped past to follow the Medic. Grumbling, the two injured mercs sulked off to the waiting room.

**Author's Note:**

> Another writing prompt thing, this time in a collection for them, very cool. The prompt this time was "Two Fools" and I was already thinking of what would happen with an office chair and the air blast of the flamethrower so it was like a perfect fit.


End file.
